From working out five days a week to not wanting to go to the gym at all, fitness devotee Carla talks about how she “had to figure out a way of getting back” from the low mood and loss of energy she experienced in menopause.
From working out five days a week to not wanting to go to the gym at all, fitness devotee Carla talks about how she “had to figure out a way of getting back” from the low mood and loss of energy she experienced in menopause, and how setting realistic goals helped her find her way back to feeling her ‘fab ‘n’ fit’ self.
menopause: unmuted is designed to raise awareness, encourage communication, and share information. It is not designed to provide medical advice or promote or recommend any treatment option.
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menopause: unmuted
A podcast series to share menopause experiences
Carla’s Story
It’s time to unmute menopause.
Hello, and welcome back to menopause: unmuted, a podcast series sponsored by Pfizer.
Menopause is a time of huge change for women, and it can affect almost every aspect of our lives, from our health to relationships.
And sometimes, it’s hard to talk about; we’re here to help make that easier by listening to how other woman have navigated their menopause journeys.
I wanted to chop his hand off, it was like, stop touching me.
I needed some real help to kind of pick me up off the floor, get me sleeping again, and get my emotional state more balanced.
I think women should be proud of their age, I am so proud to be able to say that I'm 60.
I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin. I’m an obstetrician gynecologist and Professor at Yale University School of Medicine. It’s 2021 and our social lives have been turned upside down, so we’ve turned to the online community, where so many midlife women are connecting and sharing their experiences.
Today’s episode comes from Carla Kemp.
In writing out my goals and putting together a plan to get me out of this state of depression. And and just to get my energy back going, I came up with very simple, easy, attainable goals that I can do.
While the physical symptoms of menopause weren’t too severe, low mood and loss of energy did make an impact on her life.
Let’s unmute Carla’s menopause.
My name is Carla, I'm 57 years old. I'm a social media influencer. My philosophy is living a fit and fabulous lifestyle. So on my social media outlets, I reflect that through exercising, showing my routines. And then the word fabulous that means just kinda enjoying this stage of my life, whether I'm traveling somewhere, or am I experiencing some fabulous food at a restaurant that I want to share. So my outlet is just a reflection of who I authentically am. I'm a mother of one beautiful daughter. And I'm looking forward to having some grandkids.
So I recall, just kind of not feeling myself, I guess you could say I just kind of felt like I was in a cloud and just kind of not normal. And I wasn't quite sure what was going on. It didn't dawn on me that maybe I could be entering menopause. Cause at this time, I think I was in my 40s. And even now at 57, I don't kind of like, feel like what my age is, I just kind of feel like I'm much younger. So typically, maybe what a woman might be going through in her 50s, I don't make that connection because I guess in my head, I still think I'm in my 20s or 30s. So it didn't dawn on me that I was, you know, entering menopause, but I knew something was wrong, or just kind of maybe not normal, a little different than how I normally feel.
And having a conversation with my sister who works for a doctor. Usually, if I'm kind of not feeling myself or something I always kind of talk to my sister first. And she said, oh, you might be entering menopause. And so it just kind of clicked it was like, yeah, okay, yeah, I am in my 40s. Maybe that possibly could be it. So she told me to make an appointment with my doctor. She explained that three different stages of menopause. And she said that, you know, I definitely am at the age and some of my symptoms show that I am now beginning the process of menopause. So that's kind of how I, I realized what was actually happening.
Carla’s situation is a great example of why communication with people you trust can be so helpful and can often make it much easier to get to that light bulb momentwhere the clues fall into place.
Without that conversation with her sister, Carla may have waited longer to make that first appointment with her doctor.
Mood swings, feeling depressed, lack of energy, even brain fog and forgetfulness are all very common symptoms of menopause. But they can be all too easy to dismiss. And if you’re not also experiencing the classic physical symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats, menopause might not be the first conclusion you come to.
Carla was wise to take note of the warning signs that were creeping up on her.
I would say in the beginning stages, I probably experience mood swings,
insomnia, slight depression, low energy. So those were the initial and kind of just kind of like, blah, I don't know if blah is blah a word? Just kind of just kind of felt like I was in a cloud just not feeling my typical self. Yeah, that was probably would be the biggest clue, indication that something was kinda wrong, because I typically am a high energy, kind of a person, very motivated and working out and just energetic. And so then I kind of just noticed that my energy levels were low, which definitely is not normal for me. So I definitely had to figure that out. Because if you have high energy, and then all of a sudden, you don't really feel like doing anything, it's it can definitely just change your mood, your lifestyle, how you interact with people. So I, you know, had to figure out a way of what I, you know, how could I solve that? How could I get my energy back. So I then just kind of started thinking of a plan, coming up with steps.
Normally, typically, I would work out maybe five days a week. Now I didn't feel like working out at all. So, but I knew how important it was for me to continue working out because it affected my attitude towards life and things that I wanted to do. And I didn't want to remain in a state of depression and by not working out it caused me to be depressed and I knew by working out, it would help me get out of that depression.
So, erm, I just took baby steps of just trying to at least get to the gym. And typically I would probably normally stay at the gym maybe an hour but I set a goal of just going to the gym just say okay, even if you'd stay for 10 minutes, if you stay for 15 minutes, it's better than nothing. So I would, you know, go to the gym and just make that commitment to at least get on a treadmill and walk for 15 minutes. And that's what I did. And I’d say, you know, maybe in about a month, I started to feel a little bit better. And then I started increasing my time at the gym. And then I just kind of came back to my normal self.
I would say, during the menopause, I can't say, I guess maybe it was the initial beginning stages in which my energy level was down and I just kind of felt my body shifting in another direction. I would, if I were to guess, I would say that maybe only lasted maybe six months or so. And once I was able to get a grasp, in back to returning to exercising, and just just kind of feeling my normal self, everything kind of just resumed back to normal. So now at 57. Yeah, I, I've now feel like I'm 37. Now obviously, I've slowed down a little bit. But my energy and intensity is still the same.
I think most of us will be able to identify with feeling blah at some point in life. But blah can really get in the way of living a fulfilling life, and it has a habit of eating away at our good intentions.
Carla had two really helpful realisations here. Firstly, that getting back to exercise would help break the cycle of low mood and energy–so she had a solid reason to find a solution.
Secondly, creating achievable goals. Of course it’s good to be ambitious, but if you can hold yourself accountable to a manageable target, you are so much more likely to get there.
But if these kinds of feelings are beginning to interfere with your quality of life, do talk to your health care provider who can explore the possible causes and treatments with you.
My personality is very detail oriented; I write things out, I put plans together, I write goals. I've been like that since a young child. So, so my approach to this definitely kicked into what my normal personality is, like, you know, write a plan out, write a plan out, write a plan out.
And so I wrote the plan out, you know, and sometimes, as in anything, it's always easier said than done. But just writing it out, and then making it something that's attainable, reachable erm, would then of course, I would do it. So I wouldn't write a plan in to do something that I knew that it would just be way difficult, you can even just be outside, you know, sun, sunshine, and being outdoors can definitely uplift our spirits. So in opening the door, and just going outside, and just breathing fresh air, that's very simple to do and very realistic. So, erm in writing out my goals and putting together a plan to get me out of this state of depression and just to get my energy back going, I came up with very simple, easy, attainable goals that I can do.
I would say, the easiest thing is to just come up with something that's just very realistic that you can do, and then don't think about it too much. So for example, let's just say if you're just stuck in the bed, and you just don't feel like getting out of the bed, then instead of just laying there pondering and going about all the reasons why you don't feel like getting out, you just put in your head, okay, I'm going to do it right now, I'm going to do it right now. And then just jump up and do it and just get out the bed.
So I would say don't think about it too long. Just say it and then do it immediately. And then that tends to help. So for example, I knew it was important for me to get to the gym, but I was having problems getting there. So I wouldn't think about it and be like, okay, first thing in the morning, the first thing I do, I'm just going straight to the gym. So then when I woke up, it's not a lot of thought about … you know, I'm getting up in, I just get up, grab my gym clothes, and I'm out the door. So I think in responding quickly to things that you know, would help you. It's a good way to start about it.
Not overthinking is another great piece of very pragmatic advice from Carla. It’s important to be very honest with yourself when making plans for change. You’re likely to already know what might throw you off course, and you can build small tricks like scheduling appointments for exercise into your day so they become harder to avoid.
I usually find that women tend to feel depleted because they are not sleeping well. Perimenopause certainly does that to you. Where I think the exercise becomes more helpful is by making women sleep better at night. And then with better quality sleep, they feel better the next day. I think the major feel-good from the exercise really doesn’t have much to do with estrogen and progesterone, but I think it has to do with brain endorphins, much as it would do for a non-menopausal woman. But the peri and menopausal women are that much more vulnerable because they are baseline so much more fatigued. And the one thing we cannot claim is that exercise helps you with hot flashes. We actually have pretty good data that it doesn’t. But if it helps you lose weight, and the weight loss will help the hot flashes-and that what we’ve got pretty good data on.
Many women will notice that even if they do not gain weight, their weight gets redistributed to the middle. So keep up those exercises particularly for the core to try to avoid it. There is even animal data showing that rats gain body mass around the middle when you take out their ovaries. We really don’t know exactly why this happens-but it does tend to-but exercise can really help you out to fight this redistribution.
This is menopause: unmuted where we talk about real women’s menopause stories.
I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin and if you’d like to find out more visit menopauseunmuted.com or talk to your health care provider.
Let’s return to Carla’s story to hear howweight gain is another, often unwelcome aspect of menopause.
I’d started started noticing that I was getting love handles, as they say belly fat. And I was like, what is this? I remember, I actually do, I remember reading about this. Maybe when I was in my 30s, you know how your body changes, you know, sometimes we see these charts, they'll show a woman what her body looks like, in her 20s or 30s or 40s or 50s or 60s. And you see how it changes through you know the stages of life. And so I remember, you know those charts, and so I'm like, I'm now looking like this woman that's in her 40s or 50s.
So ... and I'm also the type of of woman that will wear jeans and a little white t-shirt right? And now I'm putting on that white t-shirt and it's like has rolls around my belly and I just did not like that look at all, so that was kind of my motivation, and putting on clothes and just kind of seeing how they were fitting differently. Yes, I definitely care about the stigma attached to older women. Even just in advertisements. I recently I needed some new workout attire/gear, and then just going to the websites. And even with social media. I mean, even in fitness gear, everything is geared towards women in their 20s and 30s. And it's just a little annoying, to say the least, because many women in their 40s 50s and 60s, work out. And so, you know, in advertisement, you it's not just geared to one age group, it's it should be geared to all women, and that's across the board in all categories, whether it's fashion, whether it's beauty products, you know, all women want to look good and feel good.
Yeah, I think community is wonderful, because it gives you opportunities to explore what other women in your age are doing. So with this high level of social media, it's it’s great because, and then you can easily find communities just by hashtag. And then you're able to connect with women all over the world. And so I am definitely an advocate of that. And especially even if you're not a social person, if you don't have a big community, where you live, you can just find all of that online.
So I think in many ways, it has brought a lot of women together and connecting and being able to communicate. And believe it or not, my daughter is, she's very informative. She’s probably the one giving me information versus me giving her information, which is great. I guess that mean, I did a good job as a parent. But maybe like now, if if I'm having a symptom of menopause, or if I'm going through something, she she would bring up the conversation and say, oh, you know, do you think that's associated with menopause? Or, how are you feeling? Even though she's only in her 30s she's probably more knowledgeable about the subject than I am.
Even as we live with the effects of a global pandemic, our culture is hyper connected these days, and it’s great to see midlife women occupying part of that social media space to get their voices heard.
No matter what your shape, size, level of fitness, or severity of menopause symptoms, there is bound to be an online community that appeals to you. It can be a great compliment to the treatment that you receive from your health care provider.
And remember that while thewayyou access your health care provider may have changed since Covid-19, the range of treatment options is still very wide.
It’s important not to let ourselves get isolated from what helps us feel good and keeps us healthy and supported.
Let’s finish with one final point from Carla.
With younger women, I would say. Well, I mean, I can only relate it to myself. So I would say you know, go with the flow with it. Don't over process it. Don't overthink it, don't let it rule your life. It's all part of aging, getting older, it's all part of life. So you know, find your comfort level in it and what makes you comfortable and you know, appreciate the good side effects of it. Meaning you know, you’re no longer having periods, you know. It brings about freedom to your life. I definitely feel at this stage of my life I'm much more freer and comfortable and confident and just can kind of do whatever I want to do. There is a sense of pride in getting older. And I would just say just be the best version of yourself. Take care of yourself physically, healthy, spiritually.
Thank you so much to Carla Kemp for sharing her story with us today, I hope it inspires you to take good care of yourself too.
Every woman will have her own unique experience of menopause. Some lucky women barely notice it, and for others, it’s a bumpy road that can take a while to figure out.
Regular, open conversations with your health care provider will help to ensure that you’re healthy and there are a whole host of treatment options, which can be tailored to you.
I’m Mary Jane Minkin, thanks for joining us today. Check out our show notes at menopauseunmuted.com.
That’s the last of our women’s stories for this season, but we have one more bonus episode, where I’m joined by Drs Sheryl Kingsberg and Shelagh Larson to get the Health Care Professional’s take on menopause.
The cells with estrogen, are like big fat juicy grapes. And as we begin to lose estrogen, those grapes become raisins, and start to lose their moisture. Those raisins will ultimately become like crackers; nice and dry. So it isn't your imagination, your cells have really literally dried out. And in the vagina with the big fat juicy grapes, you have lubrication.
Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t worry about speaking up about your menopause.
Women should be able to discuss menopause with their health care providers. A woman can speak out about menopause with her OB/GYN, primary care provider, nurse practitioner or midwife. There are even designated menopause practitioners that a woman can visit if she needs more information.
Special thanks to the Global Women's Health team at Pfizer and to Studio Health for producing this series. Talk soon.
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