Kathie's story is about becoming a cheerleader for her friends experiencing menopause. “I'm able to give them a sense that it's not the end of the world.”
E4: Kathie’s Story
Kathie experienced menopause in her 30s, induced by a partial hysterectomy. Now aged 54, her story is about becoming a cheerleader for her friends experiencing menopause and being there to talk and help them stay positive throughout this next phase of life. “I'm able to give them a sense that it's not the end of the world.”
menopause: unmuted is designed to raise awareness, encourage communication, and share information. It is not designed to provide medical advice or promote or recommend any treatment option.
Links
• http://menopauseunmuted.com
• https://www.pfizer.com/health-wellness/diseases-conditions/menopause
menopause: unmuted
A new podcast series to share menopause experiences
E4: Kathie’s Story
It's time to unmute menopause.
Welcome to menopause: unmuted, a new podcast series sponsored by Pfizer.
Menopause is a major life transition accompanied by a multitude of symptoms, health and relationship considerations that women, unfortunately, don't talk about enough and we want to change that.
Women from across the US have been coming together to share their menopause stories.
“It was happened suddenly, overnight, I was just turning 42. And all of a sudden, my cycle stopped.”
“The weight gain has really disrupted my ability to do the hard exercise. And so now, I'm struggling with that, because, what was my big elixir, really is difficult for me right now.”
“This is also part of that life cycle. And we all go through it as women, there's nothing I can do to change that. And once I did that, then it allowed me to kind of go okay, what other options are out there and ask for help.”
I’m your host, Mary Jane Minkin. I’m an obstetrician gynecologist and Clinical Professor at Yale University School of Medicine and I’d like you to join me as we listen to Kathie’s story:
“With menopause, I always knew that at some point it was going to come. Of course, I was expecting it to come a lot later in life, but I don't look at it as something that is bad. I just look at it as growing up, and that's the place I'm at, because that's life.”
Kathie experienced the classic menopausal hot flashes and night sweats, but like many women, she also found that menopause brought relief from years of suffering the pain of endometriosis and fibroids.
Let’s unmute Kathie’s menopause.
“My name is Kathie. I'm 54 years old. I came to the United States from Uganda, in my 20s. And I live in Maryland. And I work for a non-profit organization and I'm an executive assistant. And the best part of it, is I'm a super Aunt of 10 godchildren.
“So, my menopause story starts at the very beginning when I was having bad stomach problems, especially around the time that I was having my periods. And when I went to my doctor, my doctor told me I had a very big fibroid sitting in my uterus, and that the best course of action would actually be to remove it. Because the fibroid was sitting in my uterus it brought on what they call adhesions, where some organs are sticking to the fibroid. And at that point they had to do emergency surgery. They said, we'll go in and find out if we should just take out the fibroid, but if we go in, we might find that we would have to have a hysterectomy given how bad the situation was. Needless to say, when I came out of surgery, I found out that I had to have a partial hysterectomy, they left the ovaries so that I wouldn't kick into menopause right away.
“I was told that eventually, I would kick into menopause much sooner than the rest of my peers. But I would know, my body will tell me, and they told me to expect hot flashes, but I did not feel any different until maybe around in the 30s. Then I started getting hot flashes, night sweats, and it was coming in more and more. So when I went to my internal medicine doctor, they said I should take a test to find out if I had kicked into menopause. So, I did a test and the test came back that I was definitely in menopause and that was when I was in my 30s.”
The test that Kathie’s doctors used to confirm menopause was a blood test. We usually check 2 blood levels: we check level of estrogen called blood estradiol. And then we also check the level of something called FSH or follicle stimulating hormone. The FSH is actually a hormone from the pituitary gland and when menopause comes about–that means our ovaries have stopped working well–that pituitary gland says ‘hey, there’s not enough estrogen here’ and it tries to send this FSH messenger to the ovaries via the blood stream. But the poor ovaries can’t respond, they’re sorta pooped out, and so indeed the FSH tends to go higher and higher as the estradiol (the blood estrogen level) goes lower.
Of course, because Kathie had had the hysterectomy, we couldn’t use the definition of a year of not having your period, or 12 months of amenorrhea, because she wasn’t getting periods. So, we really have to rely on blood tests to confirm for women who’ve had a hysterectomy, that they are in menopause
The idea of emergency surgery sounds traumatic, but Kathie is a deeply pragmatic person.
“Did I get a sense of trauma? No, actually, I didn't but told the doctor, if you go there and I come out, you've chopped off my legs, and I'm in no pain. I'll be happy. Just stop this pain. That's how much pain I was in. But then, the other thing that brought me joy was ooooh I do not have to buy sanitary towels anymore. What a savings from my 20s till 50s! Whoo, I saved a lot of money! It was being set free from buying all the sanitary towels all those years, and without having the pain of a period. Absolutely worth it. Absolutely worth it.
“I did have some friends say well, how are you feeling about the fact that you won't have children now that you've had a hysterectomy? And I was, they said, oh, maybe later on you’ll start feeling bad about it. But I never felt anything bad about it, is what had happened to me. And I knew I had to embrace it and move on. But when I look back as when I started menopause to in my 30s to now being 54. Now those friends who, who were teasing me about me being in menopause when I was younger, and now in full blown menopause and sometimes I can't resist but remind them what they told me and where they are right now. But at the same time, I keep telling them it gets better. They have to hang on in there, listen to their bodies, it gets better, and I'm more of a cheerleader for them now, those who want to be. Of course, I have some friends who are in denial but and if they are in denial, let them be in denial because that's where they are.”
This is menopause: unmuted where we’re listening to real women share their menopause stories. I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin and if you’d like to find out more, visit menopauseunmuted.com or talk to your health care provider.
A hysterectomy is life-changing surgery, and thankfully for Kathie it improved her quality of life. But, even though she had a partial hysterectomy, she still had to deal with the classic menopausal symptoms.
“About my symptoms. The symptoms varied quite a bit. In the beginning, it almost felt as though am I sick? Why am I feeling this way? I'm sweating. Then when it dawned on me that, oh no, this is definitely what it feels like to get a hot flash. I started almost noticing when they would come on. It, it almost felt as though heat was coming through your body all the way up from the bottom of your feet all the way up to my head. And it would be so super uncomfortable. Especially at night, the night sweats were horrible, horrible, where I would have to lay a towel on the bed. Otherwise I would wake up just in a cold, cold sweat. Eventually,I started realizing, oh, I need to ask other people, maybe they can give me ideas of what they do. I remember asking a co-worker and she told me, you know what she said what I do when I feel it coming on. I put my wrists under the water. And that seems to cool me down. So, I tried that, and I don't know it, it seemed to work sometimes and then at other times, it didn't work, but it was still worth a try. And gosh, then I did ask somebody else and they said you know at all times, make sure you have a fan. And so, I bought certain fans whenever I would get somewhere and they have fans, I always have fans everywhere.
“Then I started noticing that if I kept still and just kept still and quiet and let it come, and then it would go away, I would feel better. So, once I did that, and as soon as it started coming on, I just stayed calm. Then it would come on, and then it would leave.
“Then the next thing that helped me personally was somebody telling me that when they would ease up on their sugar, instead of eating a lot of sweets and sugar, they felt much better. So, I thought, okay, there's no harm. Let me scale back on the sugar. And that seemed to help me, not saying that they went away, but they became better and less intense. But I must say that the time, the night sweats went away for me totally. And I haven't had them since was me, really making sure that I work out at least three to four times a week; walking, nothing vigorous, but absolutely put in time in workout. When I do that, I don't get them at all. And the moment I stop, if I stop for a week, and I haven't done any workout, they come on strong. So, for me, it's my inspiration to really work out so, that works for me.”
Kathie points out several issues in her comments, she does point out the value of communication. And speaking with friends, she not only communicated what she was going through, but they were able to make helpful suggestions to help her deal with her menopausal symptomatology. She certainly found out that dietary changes such as avoiding sugar really worked for her and she noted the importance of exercise, how vigorous exercise and walking really made a difference for her as far as suffering from her hot flashes. She had also noted for herself, that mindfulness techniques can be very helpful; she was performing a sort of a meditation type technique which really made her hot flashes much more tolerable. All of these techniques can be helpful for women going through menopause.
“When I think of menopause, and ageing, it makes me think about how different ageing is here in America as opposed to Uganda. In Uganda, the system works in such a way that they really uphold, esteem is the word, they esteem their elders, so much that when I was growing up, I used to think, oh, if only I could be this age, because then you’re esteemed better. And so, I always remember looking up to my grandmother and my aunt, even today, I still look up to my aunt so very much. And I found that here in America, it's not the same way. When you get older, people, a lot of times won't invite you to as many places as they would usually invite you to, whatever it may be. And though is that always keeps coming in my mind. And I was like, now I understand the way the family unit is in Uganda is very, very crucial to growing up because as you grow older, you will stay with the core people who are family more than friends. So, it has to be a core group. And because the family unit in Uganda and a lot of other places in Africa is more than just your mother, your father, your siblings, it's everybody is a family member; cousin, distant relatives they become family. And as you grow older, they just, that family just keeps growing bigger and bigger. And there is no time to be lonely because you have all these people around you, which is totally different from, from America and that always saddens me.”
One thing we really don’t understand is why certain ethnic groups seem to have a higher burden of menopausal symptoms than others. For example, in the United States, African American women seem to suffer the greatest burden of hot flashes, with Caucasian women second, and the least burden for women of Asian backgrounds. We certainly think that for women from Asian backgrounds that dietary issues may be partially responsible because the Asian diet is very high in soy products which may have some benefit for hot flashes. However, we really don’t understand why African American have such a high burden of vasomotor symptoms or hot flashes. One thing that Kathie obviously benefitted from was a large and a loving extended family which sounds really terrific, and the less stigma a woman feels about her menopause, the better.
And of course, I'm also really pleased to hear that Kathie’s practical and open approach to her health has also applied to her relationship with her doctor.
“I'm the type of person who is very regimented, very much organized as much as I possibly can. And I love consistency. And so, all my physicians have been the same physicians I've had for years. The reason I do that is because I want to cultivate a relationship with my physician, that, especially as I’m ageing that's one of the most important relationships I'm going to have, is with my physician. And so if I have a relationship with them where I'm able to be open to them, and then even find out more about who they are as a person as opposed to just a physician, that builds trust. Once it builds trust, then you know, that physician has your best interest at heart. And then you are also able to be open. And so, because I'm that way, I always insist that I get to know the physician first. Before they treat me before anything, I have to sit down with them, tell them who I am and ask them who they are, on a personal level, as much as they willing, and able to tell me all about themselves. After I create that relationship, and then they built that trust, then you will find that, in fact, I insist on having appointments where the doctor has more time, whether it's early in the morning does the first patient or late, the last patient, because I really want them to spend time with me. And that has worked out brilliantly for me, really has. And I do love my physicians I really do.”
Kathie sets a really fantastic example and I know that many health care providers would love the opportunity to develop this kind of long-term relationship with their patients. I have been fortunate enough to be in one practice for 40 years and having the privilege of taking care of a woman for 40 years is a wonderful thing.
I want to wrap up this episode with a final, very affirming comment from Kathie which I think is so inspiring because it’s about strength and support. Leadership can be a gentle quality, and it’s something I think Kathie really embodies.
“That is very, that's a very interesting question as to whether I'm a leader or not. I did not see myself as a leader. But I see myself as a servant or a cheer up, as a cheerleader of life. If it’s leader put ‘cheer’ ahead of ‘leader’ because I just love to, to see my friends and family just progress, and cheer them on. Whatever life brings them. I'm able to give them a sense that it's not the end of the world. You can do this you can go through this and I love doing that. It really brings me joy. Yeah, that's the word. It really brings me joy. If I speak to somebody who's feeling some sort of way about something and I'm able to have them look at it from another vantage point, that is a positive way, then it brings me joy and then I see them actually embracing it. And then that makes me so happy.”
Well said, Kathie! However we make this journey through menopause, it’s better not to do it alone, so I want to say a big thank you to Kathie for sharing her story with us.
Whatever age you experience menopause, and whether it comes naturally or is induced, remember that talking, research and good self-care can make the process easier. It’s all about finding out what works for you.
I’m Mary Jane Minkin, thanks for joining us today, check out our show notes at menopauseunmuted.com.
And in our next episode, we’ll be unmuting Rebecca’s story.
“Just like, with most things in life, if you bring the people who are closest to you into what's happening, and you talk about it, and you communicate about it, it's so much easier, as opposed to trying to hide what's happening or be embarrassed about it. You know, it just ends up making it harder on everybody.”
Don’t suffer in silence, don’t worry about speaking up about your menopause.
Special thanks to the Global Women's Health team at Pfizer and to Studio Health for producing this series. Talk soon.
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This podcast is powered by Pfizer.