Maricia opens up about her evolving menopause journey, offering a fresh perspective on life after menopause. At 72, she reflects on managing hot flashes and how staying active, embracing her passions, and prioritizing relationships have helped her thrive as both a grandmother and an advocate for women navigating midlife and beyond.
In this episode, Maricia offers a candid look at her menopause journey, which has unfolded over decades. Despite dealing with hot flashes in her seventies, Maricia continues to approach this stage of life with positivity, showing women that aging can be a time of empowerment and reinvention.
With warmth and humor, she discusses her approach to thriving in this stage of life—staying engaged with her passions, celebrating her role as a grandmother, and encouraging women to embrace aging with confidence. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that life after menopause can be full of purpose and joy.
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Disclaimer: menopause: unmuted is designed to raise awareness, encourage communication, and share information. It is not designed to provide medical advice or promote or recommend any treatment option.
Episode 4, Maricia's Story
MJM
It’s time to unmute menopause.
Hello and thanks for joining me, Mary Jane Minkin to listen together to another woman tell her menopause story.
In my work as an OB/GYN and clinical professor at Yale University School of Medicine, I’m often talking with women about managing the symptoms of perimenopause – that time where hormones are in flux, the menstrual cycle changes and women are often experiencing disruptive physical and emotional symptoms.
Once a woman has gone a full year without a period, she is said to be through the transition and post-menopausal.[1] But what happens after that?
Today we’re going to meet Maricia, who at 72, is past her peri-menopausal phase. Like many women of this age, she’s striving to live life to the full, but she’s also still experiencing some of the symptoms of menopause.
For this episode, I thought it would be useful to focus on the last phase of the menopause transition, post-menopause, which is an important one to discuss because it stays with you for the rest of your life!
So, let’s meet Maricia, and unmute her menopause.
Maricia
I'm Maricia. I live in Fort Worth, which is a big city outside Dallas, but we love to say Dallas is outside of us. I'm from a small town in East Texas, which I love. I'm a wife, a mother, a sister, and most of all, I'm a grandmother. And now I'm the creator of the lifestyle blog: This Is Your Best Year, which is far and about women of a certain age, proving you're never too old to do you.
I think I'm an odd person, because my menopause came in sections. The first one, I knew I was going through menopause, but I didn't have really the symptoms that most people said they have. I didn't get overly hot. I di- I wasn't irritable. At least, I don't think I was. I was teaching public school at the time, and the kids never said I was meaner than usual, so I- it came in parts. It was, it was very easy. There was no medical treatments given. There was nothing. I just knew I was going through it, and a doctor told me I was. My hands would get hot. That's what would get hot on me, would be my hands.
Then we fast forward like, oh, it's been about 20 years, and it's all started again, only this time there are the hot flashes. It's like you're sitting someplace, and somebody just turns the oven on, and that's it. And, you know, people said they sweat their hair out, they do this - No, mine is body. The hands are not sweaty at all, but it's the body. I've even though sometimes I'm out someplace that I might need to go home and change clothes again, but it's two parts.
For 20 years, I was just a happy-go-lucky person. I would laugh at people. I would be sitting in church sometime, and I would see the- some of the ladies up in the choir stand, and they would be fanning away, and I knew exactly what it was. And so, I thought, I'm past that point. That's the good thing about aging. But when it came back, I really thought I was sick. I really thought I had something that, you know, they needed to diagnose or whatever.
[By the] time I got there and told them the symptoms, they said, Oh, you're going through menopause. I was like, again? And that's when they told me that it could go on for a lifetime. So, I'm one of the lucky ones that's going to have it maybe for a lifetime.[2]
MJM
Many of you will identify with Maricia’s experience with hot flashes and feeling like you’re inside an oven! Hot flashes are the hallmark symptom of menopause, but their severity and duration can be quite variable from person to person.
Up to 80% of women report experiencing hot flashes and there are a lucky 20% that don't seem to get any. A study showed that of those women that do get hot flashes, about a third were mild, about 10% severe and the rest somewhere in between.[3]
While it’s true that symptoms are most likely to settle down once perimenopause has passed, hot flashes can be one of those things that persist. Although the median duration of hot flashes is about 7 years, this widely varies across racial backgrounds. The median duration of hot flashes for both Japanese and Chinese women is around 5 years,6.5 years for Caucasian women, 9 years for Hispanic women, and 10 years for African American women.[4]
The good news is that for most women, hot flash severity and frequency tend to ease in the postmenopausal stage, but Alas for 10% of women, they can last for more than 12 years after the final menstrual period.[2,5]
While Maricia’s experience is less common, the vast spectrum of women’s menopause symptoms and experiences never fails to amaze me.
If you have been aimlessly searching online or worrying if your experience is “normal,” I really do recommend talking through your symptoms and concerns with a healthcare professional. They will take into account your medical history, lifestyle, and other factors unique to you.
A trove of wisdom is to speak to the older women in your family and ask how they experienced menopause. As well as strengthening these important relationships, it can be helpful to understand your own symptom patterns.
A powerful tool for understanding your menopause symptoms is to keep track of the dates of any menstrual cycles. Knowing whether you’ve gone that full 12 months without a period is very useful for your healthcare provider. And it’s also useful for you to be aware of because if you start bleeding again once you’re post-menopausal, it can be a sign to get checked out for other issues, that could be unrelated to menopause.
Maricia had to deal with changes to her cycle as she approached menopause, let’s listen to her experience.
Maricia
I worked in public school for most of my career, and I can remember one day I was I always wrote on the board, and I was walking through the class, and this young man tapped me on the shoulder, and he said, you have something on the back of your pants. And I was like, Oh God, you know, I've had the conversation with my students when young ladies in my class would have an accident during that time of the month, that that was just life. That was something that women had to go through. And the young men should know that they would have wives, they had mothers, and they may have daughters. So that's just something that happened. But this was me, you know, I'm the teacher, so I can remember run into the bathroom to look to make sure that you know what accident I had. And all it was, was that I had chalk on the back of my butt. That was it. It was just chalk. But during that time too, I did not know that that might be one of the symptoms is that your flow becomes one, instead of like a stream, it becomes like a river or ocean.
And so, when I went to my gynecologist at the time, we did an ablation, and he said that could help the flow, it could stop it, or it may do nothing.
It is usually because people are having an excessively heavy flow during that time of the month. And mine had gotten to the point where I didn't get sick or anything. But it was again, I was in public school, and you cannot leave your classroom every time you think you need to leave your classroom. So, it became I was always running between periods to make sure that I was okay. So, when I went to the doctor and talked to him about it, and that's what he came up with, and I've always been happy that he came up with that suggestion.
MJM
I’d like to take a moment to explain the procedure that Maricia had.
An ablation is where we destroy the lining of the uterus, to help reduce heavy menstrual bleeding. There are several techniques to perform this procedure. Believe it or not, things like hot water, laser, and even radio waves - but the end goal is the same.An ablation may not stop bleeding completely, but it can decrease bleeding significantly.
I would like to note that ablations are focused on addressing heavy bleeding – this procedure does not destroy ovarian function and hormonal changes will persist. And while an ablation would not be used as a form of birth control, it’s a procedure that should only be carried out if a woman is sure she doesn’t want to get pregnant.[7]
While heavy bleeding can be quite inconvenient, rest assured, it is a common symptom of perimenopause.[6] But, if you’re finding you have to change out your tampon or pad nearly every hour, or your bleeding is lasting longer than 7 days in one period, please do bring this up with a healthcare professional, to make sure there isn’t something else going on.[7]
Let’s return to Maricia again to listen to her thoughts on aging and identity…
Maricia
At the tender age of 72, this is your best year. I always tell people no matter how old, or what you’re going through, something about that year is going to be good.
So, I think as a woman of a certain age, you have to find your place, and we’ve put our place off for a long time because we’ve raised children, we’ve gotten married, we’ve had careers. Now it’s our time, so I’m just embracing my time. I have kids, have grandkids, I have a husband, but it’s my time. I’m not gonna cut anybody off but it’s some of the things I wanna do in life now.
It's like even traveling by yourself. I don't think I could go too far by myself, but I can get in my car and come to Dallas by myself. I can try something new. I can cook something new. I could stay up all night if I want to. So, it's just whatever makes you happy. It doesn't have to be anything big. People think that when you say you travel, that you have to travel overseas. No, you've got 50 states here, and in those 50 states there are, I don't know how many different places. It's just giving yourself permission. It's not anything big. It's giving yourself permission. It's permission to let your hair go gray, if that's what it is. If you don't want it, that's fine. I always tell people, if you want to be a rocking grandmother, that's fine. If you don't, that's fine. Or if you want to see them when you call them, so it's just whatever makes you happy, as long as it's not hurting anyone else.
When I was younger, I loved magazines. It was something that if you came to our house, you always saw a lot of magazines, and back then, it was talking about different things, I guess that were helpful to a 20-year-old. But as I grew older or matured, I felt like the magazines had left people my age out. There was nothing to talk about. It was if they talked about menopause, it was the dreaded M, you know, you but you weren't gonna die from it, so it was not a dreaded M so then I went out and I would try to find things in the newspaper. Well, newspapers are gone by the wayside. So, I started looking for things about women my age and we don't fit a particular pattern. We're not the same. Everything is different. So, I decided that if I couldn't find it, I'd write it myself.
We just want to be seen. We just want things to go, not necessarily go our way, but to take us into consideration. Even now they finally see advertisers finally see that we are a valued commodity, that we now have finances that can do things that we want to do.
One day, I went to a meeting that some of the first kids that I taught had, they called me and asked me to come be on a committee. So I went, and when I got home, I told my husband, I'm going to have to let this go. He said, let what go? I said, this hair color. And he was like, why? I said, because my students all had gray hair. I was the only one without any gray and I taught them. You have to decide what is good for you. I think the word still, when people say, oh, you still look good, still bothers people. You could just say, you look good. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. It depends on what day it is and what time you know what time of the day it is. So, I think you have to come to a place that certain things are what they are.
I think I've been really lucky when it comes to talking about menopause, because my oldest child at probably the age of 31 or 32 went into early menopause. She was diagnosed with endometriosis, and so she went into early menopause.[8] And I can remember we were at her house, and we were just talking, and all of a sudden this sweat just broke out on her, and I touched her, and she was just clammy, and I was like, oh my god, are you sick or this that and the other. She said, No, the doctor said this would happen. So, I think she led up to the spot of talking about menopause, because she had always thought you had to be that little old lady. And then I would tell her, I said, I remember when my mom went through menopause. I can remember it really well. I was in college, my youngest my younger sister, was probably still at home, but I remember this is when I used to roll my mother's hair. That was one of our times together. I would roll her hair before she went to bed, and all of a sudden it was just sweating. She said, Oh, baby, it's nothing. It's just menopause. So, I think the women in my family that I was really close to. It didn't stop them. But then again, I came from a family of educators, and my mom taught third grade, so they would really bring you back to normalcy really fast. But it never bothered her again. She just said what it was, and she went on.
Maricia
if you sat down and talked to people my husband, bless his heart, he chooses not to know, he's good not knowing. But I think that's an age thing too. I really think that's an age thing because he's six years older than me, and he looks at what his mother and how his father took things, and so that's one thing that's different. My daughter, her husband, wants to know everything well, why is this happening? Why is that happening? And so, they have those conversation more than I think people of my age do.
STING
There have been a lot of different things that have happened to my girlfriends or people that I know when they have sweats, night sweats, or even just sweat during the day. My best friend finally cut her hair. She'd always wanted to cut her hair, but her husband had this thing about he liked long hair. She cut it all off, and it was really, really cute, but that made her have to go to the salon a lot more than she generally did. She'd had a night sweat and she couldn't do anything with her hair. And that's one thing I think people don't realize, is that people who are African American, it takes a long time to do hair.
My girlfriend, she said, time she walked in, because the stylist had told her, I just did your hair. She said, no, I'm coming by this morning. When she walked in, he said, oh, night sweat, huh? And that was it. My girlfriend, Sarah, was at a meeting, and most of the men at the meeting were older, white guys, and she had a case of the sweats, the hot flashes, and she was wearing a wig. She excused herself, she said, and went to the bathroom. She said, I had to take off my [my] top and put it under the dry because it was just soaking wet, but I could not get the wig to dry. And when she went back in, she said, they never said a word. But now she was sporting this little afro, she said, but they never said a word about it, because they were too polite. So, I think men typically look at women differently. If you're in a room full of men and somebody needs to take notes, they always look at you. Will you take notes? No, that's one thing I've learned as a woman of a certain age, the word no, no explanation needed, no.
MJM
So many women find a deeper sense of confidence and self-acceptance as they age, and I’m inspired to hear Maricia speak with such self-awareness and assurance at this stage of life. Women shouldn’t need to feel ashamed of a hot flash, when it’s a natural occurrence.
No can be a very difficult word for a lot of people, but I think it’s wonderful that women at midlife like Maricia can be leading the change in the workplace or community and set such an example of calling out unfair treatment politely but assertively.
I’m also heartened to hear that Maricia was able to support her daughter, who as you heard, experienced early menopause. Women with endometriosis are indeed more likely to experience menopause several years earlier than those without the condition.8 This earlier transition can be quite emotionally challenging, but I’m really happy that her doctor was able to inform her, so she was more prepared when those hot flashes did begin.
This is menopause unmuted – the podcast where we listen to real menopause stories – and I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin.
If you’d like to find resources to learn more about menopause, I’ve left some information in the show notes. And if you’re new here, please do scroll back to find stories on many angles at midlife, we cover topics from career changes, to nutrition, mental health, and sex – just scroll back to find more.
And I’ve got time for one final thought from Maricia – let’s hear her talk about how she maintains her fitness.
Maricia
Exercise is really important. And when you find someone who wants to exercise with you or go for a walk with you, that gives you accountability. About 20-something years ago, one of my friends said, Hey, you want to go exercise with me? I was like, sure. And so it wasn't that bad the first day, but it got a little harder and a little harder, but everybody was about at the same space. We've been together over 20 years now. The good thing about our exercise group is that the trainer has aged too. The trainer is female. The trainer goes through some of the same things that that we've gone through.
Myself and one other lady. We're in our 70s. Everybody else is in their 60s. We now exercise, I'm not going to say we [we] don't still want to look good, but it's more about health. It's more about if you're sitting down on the floor, can you get up? It's more about trying to keep your balance and not fall. It's more about your heart now, and we even laugh about it. We said no burpees that that's [that's] not a thing we're going to do. And again, we've learned to say no. I don't think she would even try to make us do a burpees now, because we looked at her and told her, no, that ship has sailed.
Me giving advice to someone that is younger or will be going through menopause sometimes in the near future is to say, let it flow. You can look at your mom, her sisters, her friends. You've heard them talk about this. You've seen what it has done to and for them, but you've seen how they handle it. Again, everybody handles things, this too shall pass, and if it does not pass, it will not kill you.
MJM
Wonderfully practical advice there from Maricia. I think it’s really excellent that she and her friends have maintained a long-term relationship with the same personal trainer for 20 years. As we all age and change, we not only get to develop a flourishing social network, but it can also be reassuring to see that we all need to adapt and change with our bodies. Group exercise with women like you can be a great way of keeping our expectations realistic and our efforts consistent.
I want to say a huge thank you to Maricia for sharing her story and positive mindset with us today. I wish her all the best for all of her future endeavors.
I’m Mary Jane Minkin, thank you for joining me for our sixth season of menopause unmuted. – if you enjoy this podcast, I really would appreciate it if you could share it with a friend.
We’re already working on plans for more episodes, but in the meantime, you can check out the show notes of this episode. That’s also where you can find more information on how to get in touch to share your own menopause story.
Before I go, I’d just like to say: don’t suffer in silence. Don’t worry about speaking up about your menopause.
Women should be able to discuss menopause with their health care providers. A woman can speak out about menopause with her OB/GYN, primary care provider, or nurse practitioner. There are even designated menopause practitioners that a woman can visit.
Special thanks to the Women's Health team at Pfizer and to Studio Health for producing this series.
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[Disclaimer]
This podcast is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. Please speak with your healthcare provider regarding any health questions. The opinions expressed in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals recorded, and not necessarily opinions endorsed by Pfizer. The women in this podcast are participating voluntarily and have not been compensated for their appearance. The host has been compensated by Pfizer. The podcast is only intended for residents of the United States.
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