Patty shares her personal journey through perimenopause and menopause, highlighting the unexpected anxiety, migraines, and night sweats that disrupted her life. Through conversations with healthcare professionals and friends, she discovered the importance of community support and self-care during this transition. Patty now embraces her bolder self, advocating for open discussions around menopause.
In this episode, Patty shares her journey through perimenopause and menopause, highlighting the physical and emotional symptoms she faced, such as night sweats, migraines, and anxiety. Initially unaware of the menopause connection, she sought medical advice that helped her understand her changing body. She also found that many of her friends and coworkers were going through similar experiences, creating valuable support networks along the way.
Patty reflects on the lack of information provided by doctors, which left her feeling unprepared for this phase of life. However, she celebrates her newfound self-acceptance and healthier lifestyle, which includes no longer smoking and taking better care of herself. By sharing her story, Patty encourages women to listen to their bodies, seek help, and have more open discussion about menopause.
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Disclaimer: menopause: unmuted is designed to raise awareness, encourage communication, and share information. It is not designed to provide medical advice or promote or recommend any treatment option.
Episode 1, Patty's Story
MJM
It’s time to unmute menopause.
Hello, and thanks for joining me for another episode of menopause: unmuted, the podcast where we listen to real women talk about their experiences of menopause.
I’m your host, Mary Jane Minkin, I’m an OBGYN and clinical professor at Yale University School of Medicine and I’m proud to say I’ve been talking about menopause for decades!
Although there are common symptoms and challenges when it comes to menopause, every woman has her own unique experience, but I so often hear stories of positivity and growth that happen during this important, transitional life stage.
There is so much more to menopause than hot flashes; this can be a time of major change – whether that be physical or emotional, related to identity, career change, or perhaps a shift in family dynamics.
Whatever your experience, I want to welcome you along and encourage you to listen and share with those around you. Maybe you’ll be inspired by hearing someone else’s story or perhaps you’ll be empowered to support the women in your life.
Today, we’re joined by Patty, who has been enjoying getting to know a bolder version of herself – and she knows how to have fun in midlife!
But menopause hasn’t all been plain sailing, as we’ll hear now. Let’s unmute Patty’s menopause…
Patty 00:00
Hi, my name is Patty. I live in a small town in Vermont in the United States. I have two grown children. I work for a nonprofit in mental health. I like to go to concerts, and I like to go on cruises with my husband. We've been together for 28 years, and we still have lots of fun together.
My menopause story began about four years ago when I started to have anxiety that came out of nowhere. I didn't understand where it was coming from. I found myself being afraid when I had never been afraid before. I've always been an extroverted person. I've always loved going out, seeing people doing things all the time, and suddenly I didn't want to do that as often as I had always done. I found myself wanting to stay home, and suddenly I just found myself more afraid, more tired, just things. Just didn't feel like myself anymore, and I didn't know where it was coming from. And I was at work, and I was just in a casual conversation with one of our our doctors. And she said to me, did you think that maybe you might be in perimenopause? And I just kind of looked at her and said, Is that a thing? And she said, yeah, actually, that is a thing. It could actually be perimenopause for you when you're just getting anxiety and you've never had it before. I never thought of that. She said you might want to talk to your doctor about this.
MJM
Many women associate changes to their menstrual cycle with the onset of perimenopause, but it’s actually very common to experience emotional changes in the menopause transition.[1] And anxiety is a commonly reported emotional symptom.[2]
Anxiety can come up in lots of different ways. Like Patty, you might find yourself wanting to stay home rather than socialize, perhaps you find giving presentations at work more stressful than you ever did before, or it could be that driving in traffic is a new trigger for stress. You might also find these instances get worse if you haven’t been sleeping well.
Feelings of anxiety can be scary, especially if they’re accompanied by a racing heart, dizziness, or even a full-blown panic attack. But it’s important to remember that help is available, and with the right support, many women can get their emotional symptoms under control.
Patty was fortunate that she worked with a doctor who could see the signs. If you’re often feeling overwhelmed, have an unusually short fuse, or you’re making changes in your life to accommodate anxiety, it really is worth talking it through with a healthcare professional.
Sometimes it’s helpful just to know that there is a real, physiological reason for these feelings.
If you haven’t already, I recommend checking out our bonus episode “A Calm Menopause” where I speak in-depth with expert Dr. Pauline Maki on mental health and menopause. We cover the “why” behind emotional changes, in addition to practical advice to help manage stress.
But don’t go yet - let’s get back to Patty to hear more about what else she was experiencing.
Patty
When I first realized that things were starting to change for me with anxiety, I was about 47, 46 or 47 years old, and I'm 50 years old now, and I'm still experiencing these symptoms, along with more symptoms where I think I am heading more towards the actual menopause itself, which I really hope it's coming to an end. How I think I am finally coming towards maybe an end is I'm finally starting to skip cycles where I hadn't been before. I had just been experiencing night sweats and I had been experiencing anxiety, and I have also been experiencing severe migraines. For the past couple of years, they've been intense migraines so but now I'm finally having months where I'm not experiencing menstrual cycles. So, I'm thinking maybe the end is getting near. I have always been somebody who used to get migraines maybe once or twice every other month. It was something that I used to deal with with my allergies occasionally, like at springtime and fall time, but as perimenopause set in, they became much worse. They became to the point where I would get them 10, 12, 15, times a month, they became so severe, I did have to get a treatment plan with my doctor. It got to the point where I was even going to the emergency room to get treatments. I would have to call out of work because I couldn't get out of bed. On some days, I was in so much pain, I would have to stay in a dark room.
With the migraines, I just couldn't face going outside, and sometimes I was afraid I was just going to get a migraine going outdoor. I didn't know what was going to trigger them. I didn't know if it was going to be too loud and it was going to trigger a migraine for me, or if I was going to eat something and it was going to trigger a migraine. I didn't know what was going to trigger a migraine on me, and I never, at first, didn't consider that it could be hormones that were triggering my migraine.
I am, thankfully on a treatment plan that has got me to a point where I only have about two or three migraines a month. So, I'm doing better now, but there it it had gotten pretty severe for me for a probably a good year and a half. And I had to ask other people if they were getting migraines, and it was my friends, and they were saying, Well, yeah, I'm getting migraines all the time too. It's like, why aren't we not talking to one another about the fact that we're all getting migraines and we're all the same age.
So now we all sit there and we text one another, and a few of us work together, and we'll get we'll chat with one another, going, okay, well, I'll cover you at work. You take care of yourself and, okay, don't worry about it. I'll cover your meeting. You cover my meeting. And it's just one of those things that happened because now, because we're all the same age, and we all take turns doing things for one another, because we all know what's going on. We all have the same experiences going on. You know? We all know about night sweats and hot flashes and stuff like that. Why is this not out there too? When I spoke to my doctor about it. She was like, oh, yeah, that's part of it. And I had to ask them, Well, why didn't you tell me that this was part of it? And they were like, well, I thought you knew it's like, no, I don't know. Why are you not sitting down with your patients saying, well, here's some things that you could be experiencing. Or when I came to you saying that this is what I'm experiencing, why didn't you say, Well, this is part of perimenopause. The 10 minutes you spend with me during this appointment should be a little more informational other than Aha Aha Aha. It can get frustrating. And I'm sure other people are just as frustrated as I am when you talk to your doctor and they just kind of give you that Aha Aha Aha.
I had one symptom a few months ago that came as a complete surprise to me, that I had to go to my doctor, that I thought I was well, quite honestly, I thought I was having a medical emergency, and they told me that this was a part of perimenopause that can happen was I had a menstrual cycle that lasted almost a month. I thought there was something really, really wrong with me, and I was totally bewildered by this. I had never heard of this.
MJM
A woman’s health journey is often marked by moments of deep change and learning – whether that’s puberty, pregnancy or the post-partum phase, and menopause is no different.Patty’s experience shows just how important a community can be in providing support and information.
Although the hallmark symptom of migraine is severe headaches, this neurological disorder can also be accompanied by nausea or vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound.[3] Migraine is more common in women than men,[4] and it’s also common for migraine symptoms to worsen for women during perimenopause.[3]
Women can experience migraines right before their periods start, due to changes in estrogen levels at this time in the menstrual cycle.[3],[4] It can be very helpful to track your cycle and keep note of when your headaches occur, to help anticipate and better manage these symptoms.
But the effects can be truly life-altering, and I’m so pleased that Patty and her colleagues are able to support each other through these tough times. The good news is that many women will find that their migraine frequency decreases once they are fully through the menopause transition.[3]
Patty also experienced an unusually long period. Prolonged or heavy menstrual bleeding – which is known in the medical field as menorrhagia[5] - is something many perimenopausal women experience. However, the line between “normal” and “abnormal” is difficult to distinguish, so if you are experiencing this, do be sure to mention it to your doctor. You may need to have other causes ruled out and get your iron levels checked.[6],[7]
If there are any health care professionals listening, I want to encourage you to take Patty’s suggestion and really talk with your patients about menopause. Yes, times are changing, and women have access to huge amounts of information, but this can be a confusing time of life and connecting the dots is not always easy for patients. It is our responsibility to help our patients make sense of that information, to help them make good decisions and recognize what is not helpful, or even untrue.
This is menopause: unmuted where we talk about real women’s menopause stories. I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin and I encourage you to visit our podcast feed for more relatable, heartwarming, and hopeful perspectives on menopause. For more information, check out this episode’s show notes, and of course, we encourage you to raise any concerns with your healthcare provider.
Now let’s listen to how Patty is embracing some positive change in midlife…
Patty
My family has always been really supportive of me, and they understand that I'm going through this, and we're honest with one another when I'm kind of being a pain in their necks, and they'll let me know and I apologize to them when I get a little cranky and I find myself recently being a little more myself than I have been in the past, and I'm really grateful for that, and I I'm enjoying things a little more than I have in the past, so that's great. And I'm just loving that I can get out there more. So that's great.
Kind of a new me is coming out, because I think I'm even more bold now than I was before. Because what they used to say is, I wait till you get older. You don't care so much of what people think of you. Well, you know, now I don't care so much what people think of me.
I am looking forward to the end of menopause. I am looking forward to this stage. I am seeing it as a sense of freedom, and thinking to myself, I'm getting closer to possibly retirement, which I know for me, I will never fully retire from work. I don't think I could retire from working, but I am looking forward to the time when I am like, just working part time and having a little more time with just me and my husband. I do miss being young sometimes, but I'm actually enjoying being older, and I didn't think I would, but I honestly do. I have had more fun at this age than I did in my 20s.
[MUSIC STING]
Menopause has made me take a better look at taking care of myself better I did not take care of myself quite as well as I should have. I have quit smoking, which is a good thing. I have now been almost five years since I've quit smoking. I now have my blood pressure under control, so that's a good thing. I now have lost weight, and I just in general, I make sure I go to the doctors on a regular basis. So, I think, you know, it's made me more aware of my body and just taking care of myself in general.
MJM
I have to say that I have huge respect for anyone who is able to give up smoking; I know it’s tough, but the health benefits are so worth it and I’m glad that Patty sees it as part of a program of self-care, because it truly is just that.
We haven’t had many women on menopause: unmuted talk about smoking, but this is a great moment to discuss it. Thankfully smoking is in decline in the US, but around 11.5% of the population still smokes cigarettes and the 45-64 age bracket has the highest concentration of smokers.[8]
For women in menopause, smoking can exacerbate hot flashes, making them more frequent or intense.[9] Smoking is also associated with bone loss – an issue more generally associated with the menopause transition.[10],[11] Research also suggests that smokers have a higher risk of early menopause than non-smokers.[12]
And a lot of people associate quitting smoking with weight gain – and I know that extra belly fat is a common concern for women at midlife, but Patty is living proof that it’s possible to both kick the habit and lose weight.
There are a multitude of resources to help you quit smoking. Your healthcare professional is a great place to start.
Well before we wrap up this episode, let’s hear one final thought from Patty.
Patty
My advice to a younger person who is going to be going through menopause, perimenopause, is, don't ignore your body. Don't ignore the symptoms. Take them seriously. Your body is telling you something for a reason, so listen to yourself, and if you need help, if you're experiencing anxiety, you're experiencing migraines, your go seek help. Don't [don't] suffer in silence. There's no reason to suffer. So go ask for help. There's no shame in it. My advice to somebody to support someone is just be there.
Be there with a ready arm over the shoulder, a willingness to cover a shift for a coworker, or just be there, you know, sometimes just [just] be a sounding board for your friend, your coworker, just be ready to let somebody vent. Because sometimes that's all somebody needs, is just another person to just have somebody to vent to. Because I know sometimes my friend needs to vent to me, and sometimes I need somebody to vent to, and that's just the most supportive thing I need. And you know, it's just to say I just need to get this off my chest.
MJM
Listening – whether to your body or to those around you is one of the most powerful things you can do. and it can help improve your relationships. Great advice there from Patty, and I want to extend my thanks and best wishes to her for unmuting her menopause for us.
Patty showed us that symptoms of perimenopause can be tricky to figure out for yourself, and may not be the obvious physical ones. Talking things through with a healthcare professional can really help you put the pieces of the puzzle together.
I’m Mary Jane Minkin, and thanks for listening – this podcast is reaching hundreds of thousands of listeners, and we want to thank each and every one of you for being a part of the menopause: unmuted community. If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to share this episode.
I’ll be back with another menopause story very soon, but in the meantime, you can check out the show notes for this episode.
Before I go, I’d just like to say: don’t suffer in silence. Don’t worry about speaking up about your menopause. Women should be able to discuss menopause with their healthcare providers. A woman can speak out about menopause with her OB/GYN, primary care provider, or nurse practitioner. There are even designated menopause practitioners that a woman can visit.
Special thanks to the Women's Health team at Pfizer and to Studio Health for producing this series.
Talk soon.
[Disclaimer]
This podcast is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. Please speak with your healthcare provider regarding any health questions. The opinions expressed in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals recorded, and not necessarily opinions endorsed by Pfizer. The women in this podcast are participating voluntarily and have not been compensated for their appearance. The host has been compensated by Pfizer. This podcast is only intended for residents of the United States.
[Pfizer sting]
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