Rebecca’s story is about switching focus to celebrating the power and capabilities of a woman’s body and sharing her experience with her two teenage girls. “I found if you bring the people who are closest to you into what's happening, and you talk about it, it's so much easier.”
E5: Rebecca’s Story
Of all the symptoms she experienced, Rebecca felt powerless to combat the weight she gained. Rebecca’s story is about switching focus to celebrating the power and capabilities of a woman’s body and sharing her experience with her two teenage girls. “I found if you bring the people who are closest to you into what's happening, and you talk about it, it's so much easier.”
menopause: unmuted is designed to raise awareness, encourage communication, and share information. It is not designed to provide medical advice or promote or recommend any treatment option.
Links
• http://menopauseunmuted.com
• https://www.pfizer.com/health-wellness/diseases-conditions/menopause
menopause: unmuted
A new podcast series to share menopause experiences
E5: Rebecca’s Story
It's time to unmute menopause.
Welcome to menopause: unmuted, a new podcast series sponsored by Pfizer.
Menopause is a major life transition accompanied by a multitude of symptoms, health and relationship considerations that women, unfortunately, don't talk about enough–and we want to change that.
Women from across the US have been coming together to share their menopause stories.
“Unfortunately, in society now what you find is people don't talk about menopause.”
“I didn’t want to explain myself anymore. After a while I just, I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything at all. I just went through it silently.”
“And at the same time in my life, there was a lot going on in my personal life and I was also experiencing a huge amount of rage.”
I’m your host, Mary Jane Minkin. I’m an obstetrician gynecologist and Clinical Professor at Yale University School of Medicine and I’d like you to join me as we listen to Rebecca’s story:
“All the things that I think most people would typically do, that if you needed to lose 5 or 10 pounds would be relatively easy. You know, what I found was that nothing would even move the needle.”
Rebecca's experiences of weight gain, hot flashes and mood swings are very common. But these symptoms can be exacerbated when you’re dealing with other serious health conditions.
So, let’s unmute Rebecca’s menopause.
“Hi, I'm Rebecca. I'm 52. I'm from Connecticut. A couple things about me: I am a mother of two teenage daughters and take that very seriously. I've lived in a bunch of different countries around the world. I'm a executive search consultant, so very full-on career. And my favorite thing to do is to gather friends and family around the dining room table for a meal where everyone’s sort of trying to talk all over each other to try and get their point across and there's laughter and joy and support.
“I did not have any menopause symptoms. I was living in Australia at the time. And, you know, would go for my annual check-ups and my doctor would ask me if I had any symptoms and I said no. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer, went through treatment, and, as a follow-up after the surgery, I was put on medication that stopped my body from absorbing estrogen to prevent the breast cancer from coming back. And it pushed me into menopause all at once and really as soon as I started taking the medication, and so that was just over four years ago. And so, over the course of those first couple of months, the very traditional, typical menopausal symptoms, were very apparent. The first of course being the hot flashes, which really at the time were not a big deal at all. All of the medication that I've been on is an estrogen, either blocker or inhibitor. And so, I really have been in, you know, medication-induced menopause just over four years.”
It's a cruel irony that a breast cancer diagnosis often comes around the time that menopause kicks in. As Rebecca notes, many women who have an estrogen receptor positive breast cancer are treated with medications that either lower the production of estrogen or block the activity of estrogen. Also, often women may be often treated with chemotherapy which further shuts down the woman’s own ovarian activity.
And it can be a time when women are dealing with other, big, mid-life challenges. The onset of menopause is something that many women just haven’t got the spare capacity to deal with–and Rebecca certainly had a lot on her plate.
“A lot was happening at the time when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had just returned to Australia from my, my father's memorial service in the US, so everything was a little bit of in upheaval. So, the breast cancer treatment actually went fine, my doctor was amazing. So that was all fine, but then I felt a little bit gypped and that in addition to having to deal with, you know, the post breast cancer symptoms, and also of course, the worry about it coming back, then I also had to deal with these, these menopause symptoms which, you know, because of my age at the time, I didn't have a lot of friends who were going through it. And so, I didn't truly understand the varied symptoms, of course, everybody hears of hot flashes. But over the course of, you know, the coming couple of years, including ‘til today, some of the things like, you know, change in your metabolism and holding on to extra weight and all the things that are actually incredibly annoying, are still here. And so, I think had I been a bit older or had I exhibited symptoms, before the breast cancer, I probably would have been better prepared for them. But given that I hadn't, I really didn't honestly know what to expect or, or how to deal with them, frankly.
“The thing that helped me the most was hard exercise. And so, I really, just gave my workouts my all and that helped with everything, just like exercise helps with a lot of things. It certainly helped at the time with the menopause symptoms. And then what I found over time, you know, and I recently moved back to America. I recently went through a divorce, lots of changes, lots and lots and lots of changes. The weight gain has really disrupted my ability to do the hard exercise. And so now, I'm struggling with that, because, what was my big elixir, really is difficult for me right now.”
Elixir. That’s a wonderful description because exercise really does help.
But remember, that any exercise is better than none. So, whether it’s a gentle walk in the fresh air or you’re training for a marathon, find a level that feels both sustainable and enjoyable for you, because it’s good for your mental as well as for your physical health.
I will never, ever say to a patient oh, doing exercise will help prevent hot flashes while you’re acutely doing the exercise, because if you’re doing vigorous exercise and are a menopausal woman, you’re probably gonna sweat a little bit more. The really great news is afterwards you’re gonna feel so much better.
“When I started on the medication, I cut myself some slack and said, okay, my body's going to be adjusting to it. You know, the, there were mood swings and things like that, that often come with the medication and from what I understand they also come with menopause. So, I cut myself some slack, I let myself you know, adjust and try not to put too much pressure on myself. And then, when I moved back to the US, the strategy and the philosophy around camaraderie and exercise here is different. What I found was that over the course of, honestly mostly since I got back to America, I've probably gained, I'm not kidding, you know, 30 pounds, 30-35 pounds. And I've always, you know, had to actively manage my weight, but 35 pounds that's like heavier than I was when I was pregnant with each of my daughters. So, it's a substantial amount for me.
“And so, I tried all the typical tricks. And I had had a back injury from rowing when I was living in Canada before we moved to Australia, so I had a lot of tricks in my, you know, back pocket that I could pull out because when I injured my back, you know, everything was a bit off. And so, I really had to be careful about what I ate. So, I had all these tricks like, I've been, doing veggie juices most mornings since my daughter was born. And so sometimes, if I needed to lose a couple pounds, I would just drink the veggie juice for breakfast. I did a couple weeks of just raw eating, you know, have a very light dinner that all the things that I think most people would typically do that if you needed to lose 5 or 10 pounds, would be relatively easy. You know, what I found was that nothing would even move the needle. And so even now, like my brother is on Noom, and he was quite overweight, and now he's lost, probably 40 pounds, but it like drops off him. All he did was start tracking stuff. And all of a sudden, he looks like a new person. So, it makes me want to kill him. But I went on Noom after he started having success. And literally, I mean, if you looked at what I was eating, when I was eating it, it would be surprising how static the way it is.
“So, you know, I've talked to my oncologist about it. I've talked to nutritionists about it. And everything that I've been told, is exactly what I know already and what I'm doing already, and nothing seems to be working. So, I find that incredibly frustrating. So, when I talked to the nutritionist about the weight gain, they, they just really don't know and I had one person who tried to get some additional research and she came back to me and she just said, I can't find anything. I'm sorry. So that was it. And so, my oncologist is, middle-aged and overweight. And so, she said, ‘if there were a magic pill, don't you think I'd be taking it?’ So, it's not helpful even though it's funny.”
If only there were a magic pill! As I tell my patients, boy then I’d be really rich and famous. It can be a frustrating fact of aging that as our metabolism slows, the pounds inevitably creep up on us. Weight gain is a common aspect of menopause. As women go through from the beginning of the perimenopausal transition through menopause, women will gain an average of 5-8 pounds.
I think what was going on here for Rebecca is indeed the added stress of undergoing therapy for her breast cancer which clearly compounded the problem. Certainly, her dieting sounds reasonable, her use of fruit and vegetable juices is appropriate.
One of the comments that she did make is something that my patients always comment on, is that the guys seems to be the lucky ones who can take off weight a lot easier than we can. And one of the contributors there is their muscle mass. Now, of course one thing that helps is us exercising because exercising will help us build muscle mass so there’s always a good role for strength training.
This is menopause: unmuted where we’re listening to real women share their menopause stories.
I’m your host Mary Jane Minkin and if you’d like to find out more visit menopauseunmuted.com or talk to your health care provider.
Although Rebecca’s battle with weight gain is still ongoing, she and her daughters set a great example of dealing with the challenges of menopause as a team.
“So early on, when I first exhibited the menopausal symptoms, I certainly had mood changes and mood swings. So, when I first started going through the mood changes, I didn't really know what was happening and certainly my, my two daughters did not know what was happening. So, they, they made me these little symbols, which I have in my hand, one’s a smiley face one’s a frown face. And the bottom bracket says mood with a colon, and so what they invited me gently, kindly and lovingly to do is when I was in a good mood to give them a little fair warning, and show the smiley face and when I was not in a good mood to just show the frowny face so that they could steer clear, and everybody would be happy and well adjusted.
“And I found, just like, with most things in life, if you bring the people who are closest to you into what's happening, and you talk about it, and you communicate about it, it's so much easier, as opposed to trying to hide what's happening or be embarrassed about it. You know, it just ends up making it harder on everybody.
“Yeah, I really think it is.It's a fact of life that as the youth come into their own, we, as we go into menopause, are closing that chapter. Which is... part of it is very comforting and nice. This is how the world works, but part of it is actually a little bit irritating to say the least. And so, when my daughters, over the course of time, got their periods, I really wanted it to be a celebration, because again, in our generation, you know, our parents didn't talk about any of this stuff. It was sort of all very quiet and, it wasn't spoken about openly as something that's good. It was almost like a secret that you're not supposed to say to anyone. And so, when my daughters got their periods, I was excited and wanted them to be happy. And so yeah, you know, you have to deal with the logistics of it, but it’s fantastic. Your body is working. Your body is telling you that when you'd like to have kids it knows what to do, it's been fantastic. And so, we, we celebrated that. And then when my menopause, I guess, was in full swing. We also talked about that openly and I can't say that I celebrated it, but I said, listen, I have you girls, you’re teenage girls, I'm done with that phase of my life. It's totally fine. But just so you know, this is what happens. You're going to go through the same thing when you're my age, and don't be scared of it. It'll all work out.”
I like to remember that finding a way to communicate well about menopause sets a really great example to the younger women around us be they family or friends. Being open and honest–even about things that are hard–is a very positive way of taking the fear out of some of the myths surrounding our reproductive health, puberty, pregnancy and menopause.
I often find that there are some points in a woman’s life when she is ready to take stock and possibly alter her health habits and one of these changes occurs as a woman does become pregnant. One of the next places though, that I find that women can take stock of their lives and make changes is the menopausal transition. They can really make some changes to enter into this next phase of life happy and healthy and I think that’s a very important comparison to say yes, you can do this as you do enter into pregnancy but you also want to make these same changes and reconsiderations as you enter into menopause.
“I believe that in life there's always something, and I've always felt that the people who I meet who come across with the most character or the people who seem to be the most interesting to me, usually I find out later that something happened to them that was hard and out-of-the-ordinary at some point in their lives, whether it was recent or in the past. And I've, I've said that to myself a lot over the years. And so, yes, well menopause, for me was sort of an irritating and annoying add-on to everything else that was happening in my life at the time, starting off with my dad's death, and my mother had passed away several years before from Alzheimer’s, then I had breast cancer.Then menopause kicked in, then divorced, moved to the States, restarted my career in earnest, etc, etc. But I feel that's just life. There's always going to be something, you know, as soon as there's a period of time in your life where you say, oh, everything's calm and perfect. It doesn't last very long. And that's, I think, why, we as human beings can appreciate the highs because we have lows and, I'm not saying the menopause is a low, but perhaps in combination with some of these other things all at once, it was a little bit much. So now, things have calmed down and yes, I still have some menopause symptoms. Yeah, I'm carrying some extra pounds, whatever, we'll get through it. There’re so many other good things in life and so many other reasons to celebrate that. I'll get through it.”
It is often in our most challenging moments that we find out just how strong we are, and talking about these difficult times can strengthen others, so I want to say a big thank you to Rebecca for sharing her story with us.
Every woman experiences the menopause journey differently. Some women are lucky enough to have few symptoms, but for others, like Rebecca, menopause can be a challenging time of life, especially when you haven’t had the opportunity to prepare yourself for what’s ahead.
However you experience menopause, remember that talking, research and good self-care can make that journey easier.
And menopause doesn’t have to be a dark time, it’s all about finding out what works for you. Join me in the final episode in this season as I look back across our five menopause stories to find hints and tips to help you communicate well and unmute your own menopause.
Whether that’s with your family, your friends, your colleagues or your doctor.
I’m Mary Jane Minkin, thanks for joining us today, check out our show notes at menopauseunmuted.com.
Special thanks to the Global Women's Health team at Pfizer and to Studio Health for producing this series. Talk soon.
Disclaimer
This podcast is powered by Pfizer.